Sow Cincy

That girl is me… or at least I think so. She, the one in the picture, full of hope and passion. She was limitless, her reach incomprehensible, and her legacy yet to be determined. 

That girl is me… that is, about ten years ago. I remember sitting there that day on what felt like was the edge of the earth. La Cueva de la Ventana (The Window Cave) is an almost mystical site in Puerto Rico.  You actually have to descend into an uncharted cave, duck beneath stalactites, and avoid the bats that hang like permanent fixtures. The earth then gives way at your feet and the mountain walls part like a curtain giving you the slightest peek of paradise.  It was there that I sat hovering over the clouds, just taking it in.

The girl in this picture, she knew hardships but had no clue about the utter darkness of the soul. While she had barely tasted the lowest of lows she was also untouched by the highest of highs. The way her heart would flutter when she giggled about the cute guy on messenger who would soon become her husband. The utter peace she would find swinging in a hammock in the Bahamas mingling sandy toes with the love of her life wondering how in the world she could ever be so lucky. And she had absolutely no clue how much pain, sorrow, and joy raising three tiny humans would give her. 

As clueless as this girl was, she knew there would be something. She trusted in a big God who made such a beautiful view and as she sat at the window of this cave, ready for whatever big assignment God had for her. 

Since I took a seat on that rock over ten years ago I’ve had some awesome adventures. From moving across country unsure of where I would stay, to trusting God through seven years of seminary, countless miracles including getting my dream job at age 23, to putting my own safety on the line in order to achieve the goal of gaining others for Christ. That girl  had some adventures in her life-always crazy, always fun, always unsafe and always awesome.  

Things are more settled now, it’s not that I’ve lost my sparkle but things are settled-three kids a wonderful husband and a minivan. We had just been pre-approved for a home loan and then God decided to shake up our American Dream. He whispered adventure into my ear one more time.  Before it was easy to do-I could whisk away and live in Juarez, Mexico with no worries other than the relentless prayers of my dear parents. Now I have a lot… It’s not just me, it’s not just my life, it’s not just my safety. And I wonder does this ole’ gal have another adventure in her? 

While it may be harder to take the leap these days, I remember what it felt like to sit on the precipice of the earth with nothing but space and opportunity before me. I remember the call, the sense that God is showing me my next step, I remember that in Him, there is always room for adventure.